PERSPECTIVE

Last night while I was laying in bed thinking about all the things I needed to pray about that night, I decided to think about the good things. The past 6 months have been full of pleading prayers asking for help and even when I try so hard to make them prayers of gratitude...those darn questions keep popping up. So last night I expressed my gratitude and decided that all the "asking" could wait for the morning; besides, the girls did a good deal of asking in their goodnight prayers anyway. I feel a need to write those feeling down so when the inevitable hard days come...I can remind myself that I have someone watching out for me.
1. My husband lets me warm my cold tootsies on his legs at night when we cuddle ourselves to sleep. (only rarely does he complain;) )
2. My Dad has the ability to lighten any mood and help me see things for what they are. When he blinks back his tears and gives those side hugs where he leans his head towards you and lets you know that he's proud of you and he loves you.
3. The way it feels to have a newborn curled up on my chest sleeping happily after eating and smelling so sweet.
4. The feeling of pure joy as I welcomed my children into the world
5. Remembering the way my husbands eyes teared up as he looked into mine on our wedding day ( ok....everyone in the room was crying, but the way he looked at me was the best)
6. The way he still looks at me that way when I'm doing things like singing silly songs to the kids, or folding laundry, or when I'm curled up on the couch when I'm so so sick.
7. The way my Mom can give me the best advice possible and her example of Faith and endurance. Her love and encouragment when I'm feeling overwhelmed gives me the strength to forge on.
8. The way my Mother-in-Law can act so strong and hold everyone together in the midst of great adversity, and the tenderness she shows my girls and Terrence and I.
9. When Kylie and I go on our special "outings" and she acts so fancy. It's like going out with a little teenager.
10. The feeling I get when my kids run to me after being hurt and knowing that all it takes to make them better is a hug and kiss.
11. The clarity that comes on the treadmill, and being able to work out! I am loving it!
12. Knowing the incredible gift and blessing I have been given in having the opportunity to procreate.
13. The first time I feel my baby move inside of me.
14. Knowing not to take a second of pregnancy for granted because some never get that chance. It may be hard, but I enjoy all of it because I know what it means...I know what a complete miracle it is!
15. The peace the sound of music brings into my home. Dad playing beautiful arrangements of hymns on Sunday mornings. My attempts to do the same...
16. Feeling like my prayers are heard and KNOWING that I am a daughter of God who is loved. 17. Knowing that even when others don't understand my very active and sometimes naughty children, my Heavenly Father does...and He Loves them more than I could imagine. It's comforting to know that there is someone Higher watching out for them too.
18. My mom completely annoying me when she sang church songs in the car to break up contention and my discovery that it actually worked EVERY TIME! My goal to annoy my children in the same way....ha ha
19. Knowing that when my Siblings fall down...they know how to pick themselves back up again. My parents have done an amazing job of teaching the importance of the gospel in our lives.
20. The comfort that the atonement and plan of salvation brings.
21. Knowing that even if Terrences arm never gets better in this life, hopefully someday I can hear my babies laugh as he throws them up in the air. I can see the elation on his face as he hits a golf ball (even if it lands nowhere near the hole). I can smile and nod when he tells me about his fly fishing trips. He can rub my shoulders again, and he can feel whole again. Isn't it amazing that we have been given that promise? I can't wait! But Until then....I will find things to be grateful for and make life a little better. I'll love me kids and my husband more and more. I'll continue to talk to my Heavenly Father and thank Him for the PERSPECTIVE that He gives!

SARAH!

This is my baby sister Sarah. She is now 16 1/2 years old and so beautiful. My mom made a tradition that we all get a special day out and glamour shots taken on our sixteenth birthday and she just emailed these pictures so I had to share! The above picture looks like it should be in the back of a book on the "ABOUT THE AUTHOR" page which is about right for her. I am amazed with Sarah's talent for writing and imagination. Even at a young age of about 2-3 she would make up crazy scenerios when she played with toys and dolls. She would tell everyone her name was "ronnie" with her innocent little eyes batting at you. For a talent show at our family reunion last June, Sarah asked a randomly chosen family member for a subject and she then made up a 5 minute story about that subject. The story was so funny, but very detailed and descriptive and completely entertaining. Sarah is so quite but if you listen closely, she can surprise you with whit and sarcasm. I hope some day she realizes what amazing potential she has and the strength she has with in her. If anyone in my family has the potential to become famous, it's definately her! Love you Sarah!!!Such a cute smile!

This picture makes me think: REALTOR ad

Gorgeous!

This is the picture that is hanging on my Mom's wall. We all have a similar one where we have some sparkly jewelry and a lace wrap. I think Trista and Sarah have the best ones though!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAYI know I'm two days late, but wanted you all to know how wonderful Terrence really is on his birthday (ish) .

Terrence and I met as sophomores in high school and he was my best friend. I was going through a really hard time and he listened to me and offered great support and advice. Terrence has always been that person for everyone. He's a great listener and is very sincere and selfless. We were best friends for months before we started to have feelings for one another (well for me anyway... ha ha) and we have stayed best friends since then. I'm so proud of all he's done to support our family. He feels strongly that I should be able to have a choice to stay home and be a full-time mother and has worked so hard to make that possible for me to do. He has incredible work ethic and goes forward in everything he does with the goal to make a difference and be better. He is known by many people as someone who would give the shirt off his back to help another person, especially family.

Terrence is also a great and patient teacher. The combination of being a boyscout leader, teaching primary, and of course being a father has shown me how much patience he really does have. Terrence is so smart and can figure out almost anything. His mom says that he was born with a screwdriver in his hand and I have definately been able to see why. Any kind of car problem we've ever had has been something Terrence has been able to fix himself. If Terrence doesn't know how to do something, then he does the research and figures out how and almost always does it himself. I am also very lucky to be married to such a great cook! Terrence is a master griller and actually enjoys doing it. He finds exotic recipes and cooks them for me almost every Sunday while I take a nap or read. He works so hard at school and has overcome so many obstacles the past several months. I am so proud to be married to him.

SOME FAVORITES:
Food: chinese anything, his famous ribs, fish
Music: almost anything, but he likes a lot of instrumental things (including metallica of course), and the sound of fish as they break the surface of the water as he reels them in
Activities: Playing with his girls, cooking, hunting, hiking, 4-wheeling, camping, fly-fishing, ice-fishing, boat-fishing, shore-fishing, shark-fishing, and fishing-fishing
Color: Blue, and the silvery multi colored flecks of fish scales
Sayings: I love you, "I got one", "It's a big one", "here fishy fishy fishy", "Daddy! I got one!"

P.S. Every single one of his gifts this year had to do with fishing. He got three rods, a bait casting reel, a bunch of lewers and stuff and more fishing stuff and some more fishing stuff...............................................

SHE'S 3!!!

My sweet baby girl is 3 years old today!!! I can't believe it's already been three years. The time has flown by, but it's definately been so much fun.
DISCLAIMER: The reflection in the mirror is the top of Madison's head FYI. Madison was born exactly 14 days early at the "Womens Hospital" in Baton Rouge Louisiana. She was 6lb. 12oz. and 19 inches long. This is a picture taken immediately after she was born. The doctor was screaming "STOP!" and running across the room while putting his gloves on to catch her before she fell onto the floor. I really didn't even push! Needless to say, everyone in the room was shocked and I couldn't stop laughing because I couldn't believe I was done and she was here. The nurses didn't let me have her for almost 20 minutes though because they were too busy poking her dimples with their fingers while they gave her the first bath in the bassinet next to my bed. What a crazy delivery!
I had good intentions of posting a picture or two from every year of her life so far, but realized that half of my pictures are on Terrence's laptop which isn't charged, and I'm impatient, so this is all you get. ;)

We ate at "China" (at Maddi's request) with Aunt Lysee for lunch today. We couldn't wait to have her open her present from her aunt till we got home, so she opened it in the car.
Aunt Trista and her two kids came to visit later today and we made some ham roll-ups for dinner and opened some more presents from Grandma Nancy and Grumpy-pa Kerry and mom and dad.

We had a jello cake with whipped cream for dessert and Madison got her pink and purple sprinkles. After she licked the cool whip off of one of the candles, I noticed that the bottom half of the candle was missing. I asked Maddi to open her mouth and it was full of pink and white wax! Kids crack me up! Since you don't get pictures, here are a few silly things about our silly girl.

Favorite toys: BABYDOLLS and stroller, camera, cellphone, purses stuffed with various things, hair kit
Favorite foods: chocolate milk, triscuit thin crisps, popcorn, celery, oatmeal

Favorite friends: Kylie, Noah (she says she's gonna kiss his lips when she gets bigger), and any and all babies. She always tells me that she wants to hold my friend Kathy's baby Rush:)

Funny things: When someone makes a bodily noise, she puts her hands on her hips and says "What do you say?" She makes me sing Oh Holy Night and I Am A Child of God to her every night and she is always singing those songs to her babydolls. She LOVES to cuddle and kiss our cheeks. So many things are fun about Madison and of course I can't think of them all right now, but we love that girl. Happy birthday princess!!!

Family Christmas Letter...sort of...

Merry Christmas!

Friends and Family-
I am a major slacker and will not be sending out Christmas cards this year. I’m not actually sure when the last time I sent them was…maybe two years ago? I had full intention of sending them this year, but was too distracted to think about much of anything, so along with a whole slough of other things…the Christmas cards were forgotten. Here is a little bit about what we’ve been up to this year.

Kylie is now 5, but missed the kindergarten deadline by 16 days, so she is still at home this year. She was in preschool during the spring semester, but we are now doing our own thing at home. She still LOVES books and make-believe. She can spell and sound out most three letter words and is starting to recognize her sight words. She can write her name very well and has started to write it all over the place like her bed, and dresser. Kylie is in a dance class as well and is doing very well. She is one of the tallest in her class and the only one who is in it for the first year. She can do perfect cartwheels, but after watching the other girls in class put their hands down and hop, she started to do them wrong. She thought she was the one doing it wrong and was copying them! She is constantly surprising us with complex questions, and is growing and learning so much. I’m almost going to be sad to see her go to school next year…well…almost…

Madison has changed so much. She is still pretty shy around new people and loves to cuddle and give hugs and kisses. She LOVES chocolate milk, baby dolls and talking. She talks from the moment her eyes open in the morning until past the time they close…literally! I have to shush her a thousand times just to get her to stop long enough for us to brush her teeth, and she usually talks herself to sleep. She is very independent and will not let you help her until she’s too frustrated to do it herself. She potty-trained herself night and day last July in 2 days and hasn’t had an accident since. I think that was well deserved for me after potty-training Kylie! Kylie and Madison beg for a new baby almost every single day and even try to bribe me by making me think they’ll change diapers and wake up in the middle of the night with the baby. I’m still not buying it. I think the baby dolls with have to hold them off for a while longer!

I love staying home (most days) and have been keeping pretty busy. I sometimes feel like as a mom, I don’t have much to write about. No major accomplishments or awards, and even though my job is so hard and wears me out every single day, I’ll spare the details because it’s late and it makes me tired thinking about it! I am the literacy specialist in the ward and am on the enrichment committee. This is the first time in 6 years I’ve served outside of the primary, so I am LOVING relief society! I have developed a definite love of cooking (not so much the dishes part) and have tried some pretty delicious dishes with success. And…that’s about it for me…

Terrence is still going to school full-time and working full-time. He hasn’t had a calling for almost a year, but I feel one coming on, so we’ll see how long that lastsJ Terrence kept busy all summer fixing up his grandpa’s fishing boat and spending every possible minute fishing. The girls have loved it and are so good on the boat with him. I’m sure many of you have read several comments I’ve made on facebook and my blog about some issues we’re having and feel free to skip ahead, but I am finally ready to talk about it a little bit. In October, Terrence was putting out a fire at work on a heater unit and suffered an electric shock to his left arm (his primary arm). His arm was completely numb for an entire week, and he FINALLY got approval from his safety department to seek medical attention 2 weeks after the accident. The work-med Dr. wasn’t sure exactly what was wrong and has been trying a bunch of different medications which have had TERRIBLE effects on Terrence. His arm goes numb and is EXTREMELY painful anytime he does heavy duty work or uses it for anything repetitive (like taking notes or FINALS in school or holding his children). So…he has had to withdraw from school this semester which has been so difficult since we already feel so behind in our goals. Due to all that has been going on, Terrence ended up losing his job for a month on wrongful terms and was eventually given it back after reviewing the action in a company court system. He was seen by a specialist called a physiatrist this week and will be undergoing some tests such as x-rays and a nerve conduction test to see how bad the nerve damage is and what steps we have to take from here. We don’t know yet if he will ever get full function of his arm back. I know this sounds terribly depressing, but I know a lot of you have had questions as to what is going on in our family and thought I’d shed some light on the situation. We have been able to stay pretty positive throughout it all and have learned to rely on the Lord. We have grown even closer together as a couple and a family and have definitely felt the power of the atonement work in our lives these past several months. Even after being out of work for an entire month right before Christmas, the Lord seems to be blessing us. Our testimony of tithing has definitely been strengthened for sure, and we are also so grateful for our loving parents who have been here for us every step of the way. Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement.
So, in my lame attempt in a “Christmas Greeting” I sincerely pray that you each have a wonderful Christmas season and feel the love of the Lord in your hearts and homes as we have been fortunate enough to do.
Love you all,
Terrence, Laura, Kylie Ann, and Madison Mills

Grammi Sharon's Visit!

Grammi came to our house last week for her nieces wedding and oh boy did we have fun! She's pretty special because she lets us get away with almost anything and Mom says it's okay since we don't get to see her very often. Grammi lives in Kansas, and that's a really far way away!

Grammi put curlers in our hair just for fun and I think I looked like Cindy-Lou-Who.
She even put some in Maddi's braids and my mom got a little jealous, so she let Madison do her hair for a while. Maddi asked Santa for a hairbrush because she loves to play with Mommy's hair.

Mom had to bring dinner to someone from church, and she made some yummy home-ade chicken noodle soup. Madison wanted to help make the noodles, but just ended up licking the flour off of the counter. I told her it would be disgusting, but she just kept laughing because she thought she was being funny. Sometimes Madison can be so weird!
Daddy bought some super yummy cookies and hid them on top of the cupboards, but Madison pushed a chair over and climbed right up and sneaked some. Mom says there is no such thing as "terrible twos" and it should be "terrible threes". I'm not sure what that means, but I think it has to do something with Madison being on Santa's trouble list.

Mom calls Maddi dirt magnet too, because she always finds a way to get messy.

On Saturday, we went to a fancy restaurant for a lunch after Brittney's wedding and I acted fancy just like "Fancy Nancy" in my books. I even used the right forks and mom did my hair just like a princess. I got to wear my new Christmas dress and everything!

It snowed a whole lot while Grammi was here, so we all got bundled up warm and went outside and built a fort around our back porch. Mom wore dad's "Carhart" coveralls, boots, and coat and I told her she looks like a chubby firefighter.

Daddy couldn't help us because he can't do much with his arm anymore. I ask Heavenly Father to make it better everytime I pray, but Mom says that sometimes Heavenly Father has to wait a while before he can help us. Dad came to spy on us though and we clobbered him pretty good with snowballs. Mommy couldn't move in her gigantic clothes though so she didn't even hit him once! I did though. he he he...

It started to get dark outside, so we had to go in for some hot chocolate, but we got a pretty good foundation on our fort. Dad says we should make some windows in it so we can use it for a snowball fight against all those boys that have cooties. I'm not sure what cooties are, but I know they are bad. They must give you diseases or something. I'm sure they're on the naughty list!

I wonder....

I am not a talented writer, nor do I claim to be, but sometimes writing down my thoughts help me to sort through them. Today I am wondering if it's possible to have too much Faith in something? I was told a story about two sister missionaries who filled their gas tank with several gallons of water one Sunday morning with a prayer and a lot of faith that somehow the water would be magically transformed into fuel so that they might make it to church. They of course ended up stranded on the side of the road with severe damage to their car. I think this problem was not due to a lack of faith, but rather a lack of preparation. So in my efforts to have more faith than I've ever had before I am wondering if I am covering all of my bases. Will I end up stranded on the side of the road because I forgot another essential step? Am I prepared both physically, temporally, and spiritually for the days ahead? I am giving it my best effort and forging ahead with faith and prayer. I just hope I have everything required to get me through. I have never been more grateful for the gospel and the atonement than I am now. I know that the Lord loves me and my family and that he will take care of us. It is that peace and knowledge that carry me through the day. Hopefully I can have the strength to cast my burdens to the side and kneel in prayer of Thanksgiving for every day I get to live with such beautiful little girls and a worth priesthood holder who surround me with a kind of love no words could ever justify.